:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
- aki no kure 秋の暮 - autumn dusk -
autumn dusk, autumn twilight,
aki no kure 秋の暮 (あきのくれ)
autumn nightfall, autumn evening, autumn eve
"aki no kure" might also refer to the end of autumn.
Autumn coming to an end
But this is usually expressed in the opposite wording
kure no aki, the twilight of autumn itself, 暮の秋(くれのあき)
"Autumn means sunset (dusk)" (aki wa yuugure)
is a famous statement in the Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon (Sei Shoonagon 清少納言, Makura Sooshi 枕草子). It has long been loved by Japanese poets and together with the SPRING DAWN (haru no akebono) been the subject of many poems.
. WKD : Autumn dusk (aki no kure 秋の暮) .
under construction
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
元日や思へばさびし秋の暮
. ganjitsu ya omoeba sabishi aki no kure .
First Day of the New Year
.............................................................................
愚案ずるに冥途もかくや秋の暮
. guanzuru ni meido mo kaku ya aki no kure / guan zuru.
(autumn) end of autumn. in my humble view. the netherworld
.............................................................................
枯朶に烏のとまりけり秋の暮
. kara eda ni karasu no tomari keri aki no kure .
.............................................................................
こちら向け我もさびしき秋の暮
kochira muke ware mo sabishiki aki no kure
for a painting by
. Kitamuki Unchiku 北向雲竹 .
.............................................................................
この道や行く人なしに秋の暮
. kono michi ya yuku hito nashi ni aki no kure .
nobody travels this road
.............................................................................
身にしみて大根からし秋の風
mi ni shimite / daikon karashi / aki no kaze
.............................................................................
死にもせぬ旅寝の果てよ秋の暮
shi ni mo senu tabine no hate yo aki no kure (shinimosenu, shini mo senu)
not dead yet
at journey's end -
autumn evening
Tr. Barnhill
I am hardly dead
As a result of my lodging by the road;
Autum's close.
Tr. Blyth
Written in Autumn 1684, Basho age 41.
upon returning from the trip to Musashino. Nozarashi Kiko
quote
I shall introduce a commendable attempt by an English poetess() at demonstrating the feasibility of translating Japanese haiku into English effectively by creating ten different English versions of a famous haiku by Basho.
The basic prose translation runs thus:
At the end of this journey at last,
I haven't met my death, as I feared at the beginning;
At the end of autumn.
[1] Her first rendering attempted to call up memories of great works in the English literature canon.
A weary way; now, at last, the end:
In the beginning, fear of death, that passed away.
Autumn is ending too.
The English reader should recall Grey's 'Elegy' -
The ploughman homeward plods his weary way,
also the first words of the Gospel of St. John,
In the beginning was the word.
And an Anglo-Saxon lament with the refrain,
That passed away, so will this.
Here she seems to be attempting to make an exotic poem acceptable as English poetry by evoking accepted masterworks.
[2] The second version uses simple rhythm and rhyme to mark the haiku firmly as 'poetry' in a form accepted by all English people, - the four line >rhymed verse found in nursery rhymes and hymns.
This is journey's end at last;
I set out fearing Death; he passed
Me by and all my wandering's done.
And autumn's come and gone.
This version personifies Death, using a familiar folk-lore representation of Death as a solitary traveller met on a lonely road.
She may have tried out the easiest English verse form. Overall, this version is too wordy.
[3] The third attempt uses the same easily acceptable form and emphasises Basho's hint of self-mockery.
The end of this long road; the journey's made
At last. Starting, I was afraid
I might meet Death. My foolish fear!
Wandering and autumn's days end safely here.
[4] Her fourth try is more concise and ambiguous. Does the end of autumn bring cosy security or expectation of winter and old age?
The end at last. This weary journey done,
I set out fearing Death; he passed me by;
The end of autumn's come.
In this version, she has abandoned rhyme and maybe for that reason it turned out to be too much like ordinary speech.
[5] Version five is again a three line verse, but contains a rhyme and is more cheerful in outlook, even mildly triumphant.
This is journey's end at last;
I set out fearing Death, he missed my trail;
Journey and autumn's end are safely past.
[6] The sixth variation is the one she herself preferred. It expressed the mood of calm acceptance which I perceive in the poem. It also uses assonance rather than true rhyme.
This journey's over; all the wandering done;
Starting, I feared to meet my death but now,
Only autumn's gone.
[7] Version seven, very similar, contains a true rhyme (last - past) in place of the 'eye rhyme' done - gone. She feels on reading 6 and 7 aloud that 6 sounds more 'musical' and softer.
This is the journey's end at last.
The death I feared at starting never came,
And not my life, but only autumn's past.
[8] The eighth variant follows the rules for Anglo-Saxon poetry in alliteration and rhythm. Thus an English reader perceives the verse as a clever exercise in archaic style which arouses interest.
The trail travelled truly; goal reach at long last;
Death-dread at road's head needlessly heeded.
Autumn fast fading.
She uses words derived from Anglo-Saxon, which gives a strength and vigour to the lines. She thinks that alliteration is still an effective device when writing poetry in English.
[9] In the ninth version she tries, as many translators of haiku do, to copy the Japanese form of seventeen syllables. She feels that English words contain too many syllables to allow nuances of meaning to be expressed in seventeen English syllables.
End of this long trail
Begun in fear of death.
Alive. Autumn ends.
[10] The last try offers an example of a pun, using the word 'remains' in two senses in an attempt to reproduce the device of the 'hinge word' which is used in so many haiku.
My journey is completed, finally.
Death I feared at starting; life remains
And the remains of Autumn.
source : Susumu Takiguchi
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Photo Gabi Greve, 2006
. WKD : Autumn dusk (aki no kure 秋の暮) .
. Cultural Keywords used by Basho .
[ . BACK to DARUMA MUSEUM TOP . ]
[ . BACK to WORLDKIGO . TOP . ]
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
